![]() attempted to claim the county palatine of Saxony. ![]() Needing a way to distinguish himself from his hirsute father, Ludwig Jr. In the mid-11th century, Ludwig “the Bearded” ruled Thuringia in central Germany. However, one of the possible inspirations-a pillager called Reginheri-is believed to have died from a case of diarrhea so violent that “all his entrails spilled onto the ground.” At least one medieval scholar has proposed that this fatal defecation left Reginheri’s pants matted, sticky, and foul- in a word, hairy. Some boring historians claim that Ragnarr never existed-that the sagas of his deeds are a composite of many Viking exploits. His sons-who followed in the family tradition with names like Ivar “the Boneless” and Sigurd “Snake-in-the-Eye”-raised a band of killers called “the Great Heathen Army” and took a blood-soaked revenge on Aella. The pagan Ragnarr rampaged around Northern Europe-burning churches and massacring Christians-before he was captured by King Aella of Northumbria and thrown into a pit of adders (presumably sans his fuzzy, snake-proof leggings). Legend has it he got the name from a pair of protective cowhide pants he wore to clobber a noxious serpent. He bore the terrifying epithet “Loobrok”-“Hairypants” (you’ll sometimes see this rendered “Hairy Breeches,” as if that affords the man some dignity). Ragnarr was a Scandinavian chieftain in the mid-ninth century. The infected wound festered for three days, while Mac Con attempted to escape, but one of Ailill’s warriors caught up with him and speared him in the face. Nude-Ear had notoriously foul teeth, and-instead of a hug-he bit Lugaid on the cheek. Lugaid returned to his stepfather Ailill’s court, but the old man was not in a forgiving mood. Undeterred, he gathered an army before returning to slay King Art and take his crown in the Battle of Mag Mucrama (the “Plain of Pig-Counting”).Īfter adopting King Art’s son Cormac, Mac Con ruled for seven years before he was deposed by the ungrateful bastard. When Nemed was killed, Lugaid was sent packing to Scotland. Lugaid grew up to be a quarrelsome young man, fighting alongside a rebel called Nemed against both Nude-Ear and the High King Art mac Cuinn. This sobriquet originated when the infant Lugaid suckled at the teats of a hunting dog belonging to his stepfather, Ailill “Nude-Ear.” He was known as “Mac Con,” which means “Son of a Bitch”-or “Son of the Hound,” if you want to be literal. Ireland’s early medieval history is about as reliable as a meth-addicted babysitter, but-according to the sources we do have-Lugaid ascended the throne at Tara sometime around the year A.D. Then, of course, there were a lot of lame kings who got called suitably lame things-Aethelred “the Unready” of England, Stefan “the Weak” of Serbia.īut there was also a unique class of rulers, who cunningly adopted absurd nicknames to lull their enemies into a false sense of security before brutally erasing them from the face of the planet. ![]() People like Thorfinn “Skull-Splitter” Einarrson-a 10th-century Earl of Orkney, or Vlad “the Impaler” Dracula-Wallachian prince and vampire prototype. Plenty of ancient nobles took on names designed to make their foes run away in wet-trousered terror.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |